How to Get Someone Medical Help When They Refuse

ER Tips

Mar 7, 2025

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Whether it’s an elderly parent, a spouse battling chronic illness, or a friend in crisis, watching someone you care about refuse needed medical care can leave you feeling helpless and deeply worried about their wellbeing. If you’re struggling with how to get someone medical help when they refuse, know that you’re not alone in this challenging situation.

  • Compassionate communication: Start by having an open, non-judgmental conversation to understand their fears and concerns about medical care.
  • Involve their primary care physician: Sometimes, bringing in trusted family members or their regular doctor can help persuade them to get the help they need.
  • Explore legal options: In cases where someone can’t make medical decisions or is in immediate danger, you may need to explore legal options like medical power of attorney or emergency psychiatric holds to ensure that the individual can be attended to.
  • Call 911: In the event of an emergency, do not hesitate to call 911 to get medical professionals to your loved one as quickly as possible. 

When you need support in getting medical care for a loved one, Complete Care’s experienced healthcare providers are here to help. The compassionate staff at each of our ER locations understand the complexities of these situations and can work with you to find the best approach for your specific circumstances.

What to do when someone doesn’t want medical help?

From aging parents with high cholesterol to partners experiencing left side pain, understanding how to approach patients refusing treatment requires both compassion and strategy. Here are several approaches you can consider.

Start with compassionate communication

Understanding why someone is experiencing denial of medical treatment can help you know how to better help. Often, fear, mistrust, or confusion drives their resistance. Have an open, non-judgmental conversation about their concerns, listen, and validate their feelings while gently sharing your observations about their health. 

Sometimes, breaking down their specific fears can help address them one by one. Consider writing down their concerns and addressing each one systematically, perhaps even researching solutions together. This collaborative approach can help them feel more in control of their healthcare decisions.

Involve their primary care physician

Your loved one may be more receptive to medical advice from a doctor they already trust. Reach out to their regular physician to discuss the situation. The doctor can often provide valuable insights and may be able to contact your loved one directly to encourage them to seek care. They can also help coordinate with specialists or emergency services if needed. 

Additionally, primary care physicians often have long-standing relationships with their patients and understand their medical history, making them particularly effective advocates for necessary treatment.

Consider family intervention

Organizing a structured family meeting can demonstrate the widespread concern for your loved one’s health. This isn’t about ganging up on them but rather showing unified support and concern. Include family members they respect and trust, and consider having a healthcare professional present to address medical questions. 

It’s important to plan these interventions carefully, perhaps even rehearsing what each person will say and establishing clear boundaries for the conversation to prevent defensiveness. Consider selecting a neutral location that feels comfortable and non-threatening to your loved one.

Explore legal options

In severe cases where someone has refused medical treatment and their life is at risk, legal interventions may be necessary. This could include seeking guardianship or medical power of attorney. These options should be considered carefully and typically require documentation from medical professionals about the person’s inability to make sound medical decisions. Working with an elder law attorney or healthcare advocate can help navigate these complex legal waters. 

Remember that this option should only be pursued when other options have been exhausted as a last resort.

Know when it’s an emergency

In the face of an emergency, waiting isn’t an option. If you need to find the nearest ER quickly, consider the benefits of freestanding ERs, which often have shorter wait times and more personalized care. Look for signs that require immediate action, such as:

  • Severe chest pain or difficulty breathing
  • Signs of stroke
  • Severe injuries or bleeding
  • Altered mental status
  • Suicidal thoughts or behaviors

Don’t hesitate to call 911 if you observe any of these symptoms. Emergency responders are trained to handle resistant patients and can assess the situation professionally.

Work with mental health professionals

A mental health professional can help address underlying anxiety, depression, or other psychological barriers to accepting medical care. They can provide coping strategies and help your loved one work through their resistance to treatment. 

Consider starting with a counselor who specializes in health anxiety or medical trauma, as they may have specific expertise in helping patients overcome resistance to medical care. They can also help family members develop effective communication strategies and cope with their own stress about the situation.

Consider cultural and religious factors

Some cases of denial of medical treatment may stem from cultural factors or religious beliefs. Take time to understand these perspectives and work with religious leaders or cultural mediators if necessary. 

Many healthcare facilities can accommodate various cultural and religious practices while still providing necessary medical care. Research healthcare providers who have experience working with your loved one’s specific cultural or religious background, as they may be better equipped to provide care in a way that respects these important beliefs and practices. Sometimes, finding a healthcare provider who speaks their primary language or understands their cultural traditions can make a significant difference in their willingness to seek treatment.

Document everything

Keep detailed records of your loved one’s symptoms, behaviors, and any attempts to get them medical help. This documentation can be helpful if you need to involve legal authorities or healthcare providers in the future. Include dates, times, and specific incidents that demonstrate their need for medical attention. 

Consider using a dedicated notebook or digital app to track these observations, and include any relevant photos or videos that might help healthcare providers understand the situation better. Make sure to note any changes in behavior, eating habits, sleeping patterns, or daily activities that might indicate declining health.

What to do when someone refuses to go to the ER

Watching someone refuse emergency medical care can be terrifying and overwhelming. Here’s what you can do when faced with this challenging situation.

  1. Assess the severity: First, determine if this is truly a medical emergency. Some clear signs indicating when to go to the ER include chest pain, difficulty breathing, severe bleeding, signs of stroke, or altered mental status. Trust your instincts — if you believe someone’s life is at risk, take immediate action.
  2. Stay calm and listen: Understand why they’re refusing care. Are they afraid of hospitals? Worried about costs? Concerned about what doctors might find? Keep your voice steady and show you’re listening to their concerns. Sometimes, simply feeling heard can help someone become more receptive to getting help.
  3. Offer alternatives: If they’re refusing a traditional emergency room, suggest alternatives like a freestanding emergency center with shorter wait times, their primary care physician (if available immediately), urgent care (for less severe conditions), or telehealth consultation as an initial step.
  4. Call 911 if necessary: In life-threatening situations, don’t hesitate to call emergency services. Emergency responders are trained to assess the situation professionally, communicate with resistant patients, evaluate mental capacity for decision-making, and provide immediate life-saving care if needed.
  5. Use a support network: Reach out to people the person trusts, including family members who can help persuade them, their regular doctor who can explain the risks, religious leaders if faith is a factor and close friends who might be able to reason with them.
  6. Document the situation: Keep track of symptoms and their progression, time of onset, any medications taken, previous similar episodes, and their reasons for refusing care. This information can be invaluable for medical professionals if the situation escalates.
  7. Know your legal rights: In some cases, you may need to pursue emergency guardianship if someone is not mentally capable of making medical decisions, is at immediate risk of serious harm, showing signs of severe mental illness, or is unable to understand the consequences of refusing care.

Remember, while you can’t force someone to accept medical care (unless they lack the capacity to make decisions), you can prepare yourself with information and options. If you’re unsure about the severity of the situation, err on the side of caution and always seek professional medical advice.

When minutes matter, Complete Care is here to help

Understanding how to get someone medical help when they refuse requires patience, strategy, and sometimes professional support. At Complete Care, we’re experienced in helping families navigate these sensitive situations with compassion and expertise.

Our team of emergency medical professionals is available 24/7 to provide guidance, answer your questions, and deliver immediate care when needed with lower wait times than a hospital. Whether you’re dealing with a loved one’s resistance to treatment or facing an emergency situation, we’re here to help you make informed decisions about their healthcare. 

With locations in Austin, Corpus Christi, Dallas/Fort Worth, East Texas, Lubbock, San Antonio, and Colorado Springs, quality emergency care is always nearby.


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